I am and always will be a negative person. I have about zero trust in almost everything. I don’t trust people, I don’t trust the future, I don’t even find any reason to trust myself. At anytime I can find the deepest hole and the biggest hole inside my chest is that stupid negative character. I can do nothing about it, because I tried so hard to be positive and fail even harder. That’s one of the worst part of my body (I have plenty of them I guess).
However, trusting nothing is somehow my strength. I have to do everything by my own, from the littlest things, and make it the perfect one (according to my standard). I know that luck doesn’t come in anyway, it will happen when it wants to and I can’t just sit here and wait for it. I have to work hard and harder to get what I want, even though I don’t feel like I’ll have what I want in any near future (at all), I still choose to do so. I’m not a young girl anymore, time flies by and I’m turning 26 soon. I don’t feel my age and people normally doesn’t look at me at my real age is. I always act like a kid, a weird one. ‘Cause I have no idea and intention to be mature in people’s eyes. I’ll be decent when I have to (at work), but most of my time I want to be a free bird. I try to joke around, be stupid, act cute, make people laugh… So please, don’t tell me to grow up, I really don’t need any of it. This is my life, I can live it whichever way I want to. Why do I have to trust what you’re saying when I don’t even trust myself? (Who do they think they are anyway?)
Showing my true self is never what I want to, so let me be the weird kid that I want to be, and I’ll be fine.
UNISIX’s Patty shirt & Lazee shorts | Adidas SLVR shoes | DIY necklace