el x SIN June ’17

The sky is the same everywhere I go.

The only thing that changing is me, whenever I have time to spend with myself only, I can feel the world inside of me is changing slowly but kinda better.

Last time in Singapore, for almost 1 week doing everything just like what I always do at home, somehow I feel different, somehow I find an answer for one of my question. It doesn’t matter where I go, it doesn’t matter how far from home, the only thing that I need is to feel fine wherever I go. ‘I don’t love traveling as much as I though I do’ – and I didn’t realize this one thing before, but now I know for sure, I just wanna be somewhere else because I want to clear my mind whenever I need a rehab. We have different methods, going somewhere is mine.

I used to be the girl who dreamed big, I used to be the girl who wanted so many things, then wasted so many years in life chasing after what doesn’t make me happy. The shadow inside my soul, the burden in my life, the dark side of me, they never really go away. Even though I always know what I want to do, I walked on so many wrong roads before, to the point I feel like wasting my youth.

Happiness is not waiting for me to find it. It is what I can do that makes me feel happy.

It sounds simple however it took me years to learn how it is exactly. Years…

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